Gosh, I’ve definitely forgotten how hard it is to begin a blog post, let alone the bits and pieces that come with it. For example, I’ve just realised that I haven’t prepared a suitable photo to go with this post. Perhaps it won’t be going up tonight after all. Time will only tell if I can manage to muster something slightly related – a picture of the sky maybe? No-one will mind, will they?
My laptop is probably wondering what the hell is going on all of a sudden! Since taking a break from blogging in June/July, I haven’t touched my laptop at all. I honestly can’t remember when my last post was.. I think May on this site and maybe June on my food blog…it’s been a long old while! My iPad became the go-to and I believe my phone even got neglected in the beginning. No Instagram for me either. If you follow me over on Insta, you’ll know that I did make a gradual return to insta-stories during my holiday to Italy in August. You’ll probably even know the reason why I stopped, but for those of you who don’t, here’s what’s been happening.
In total shock
So, for those of you who don’t know already, I found out that i’m pregnant mid-June…the 19th..my Mum’s Birthday to be precise. It would have made an amazing Birthday present to tell her then but I honestly was in TOTAL SHOCK. We had been trying but I just didn’t expect it to happen on that day. I only took a test on a whim and can I just say, when those little two blue lines stared right back at me, I gasped. “Oh my God, oh my God”…and like that, my life changed. That whole day it didn’t seem real. I was certainly running on adrenalin; half excited, half nervous. I went to get my nails done; I went to town to buy a couple more tests just to be sure (a long with an electric toothbrush just not to seem like I only went in for tests!!) Four more blue lines and an excited but equally shocked husband later, stuff got real.
Pre-pregnancy life was all about me (and the husband of course!) But whilst he was at work, I had all the time in the world to build my empire. You might know that I decided to go full-time blogging in January. I’m very fortunate to be in this position and am forever grateful. I gave it my ALL. I split the food and travel content from this blog and started a new food blog over at jesseatsandtravels.com I managed both blogs during the week, posting almost 5 times a week between the two (less so on this site due to lack of ideas and content!) Later on in the year I began to be invited to local events, restaurant and hotel openings, socials etc. I attended those that I could and was thoroughly enjoying myself, despite the hard work being put in. I will say though that the pressure was REAL. The “am I good enough?”, “is this photo insta-worthy?” went through my head daily.
When you find out you’re pregnant, your world changes. How cliched, I know. I’m not going to lie, I was scared. All of sudden this thing that I’d wanted for so long (a baby) was real; it was happening; but this thing that I’d wanted was also not allowing me to think normally. I’ll blame it on the hormones but I hit low moments in the first month and I honestly didn’t know what to do. I also had no motivation to blog; it just seemed pointless. I had other priorities and that was to focus on myself and the pregnancy.
A touch of the old writer’s block
Another thing that stopped me from blogging was something most bloggers/writers etc experiences every now and then: writer’s block. I couldn’t write about the pregnancy because I hadn’t told all my friends and family about it. In the first trimester I was completely exhausted and just didn’t have the energy to bake or cook for my food blog. I only just about got the energy to cook our dinner, let alone photograph and edit etc!
What do I want in life?
Another cliche but currently all I want in life is for my husband and I to continue being happy and to birth a healthy, happy baby. I’m lucky to be able to say that we’re definitely on the right path towards this. We’re both very happy and are SO excited to meet our little creation.
In terms of a career, this is where I’m at a bit of cross-roads. Currently unemployed, you could class me as a housewife, I don’t mind (you better believe how hard it is to stay at home everyday, TRUST ME!) Being a housewife is a duty i’m happy to take on, despite the negatives (and the fact I can’t drive), i’m very lucky to be able to be one. Don’t let anyone tell you you’ve got it easy if you’re a stay at home mum/dad or even just a housewife in general… it’s blimmin’ hard (it’s a whole other story!) BUT this is not to say I don’t want to work again. Since I’m pregnant right now, it’s pretty hard for myself to find a job, especially a ‘career’-type role. In the future I’d LOVE to go back into publishing if any of those jobs came up near where I live.. ideally I don’t want to commute again. For now though, I’d love to give blogging ago because I see plenty of parents making it work. I’m not going to get my hopes up though as I also know there are those who get lucky.
In a nutshell, the plan is to blog for what is left of my pregnancy and see what happens. I’ll see how it goes when baby is born and if I have to get a part time job in the future when it’s viable, I will. If blogging goes no-where, i’ll keep it as a hobby and that will be that! No hard feelings!
Less pressure, more fun
Every blogger will tell you that they feel the pressure. The pressure to post everyday, the pressure to take the coolest, most curated pics. The list goes on and on, trust me, you’ve heard it all before. I’ve decided that If I’m to start this blog back up (foodie one will still be on hold), I mustn’t pressure myself as it’s the last thing that myself and the baby needs. I want to write about the things that matter to me; important topics that affect me currently. I always said I would never become a parent blogger but now I understand why parents who blog some how become one. The main thing in my life right now is my baby, my pregnancy, so why not write about it?
I hope this post hasn’t been super waffle-y and makes some sort of sense! If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments. I’ll see you around for another post, hopefully! Any suggestions, let me know!